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Tough Warriors?

No, I did not finish the Tough Mudder.  Let's just get that awkward moment over with.  However, we did about half of it, and then I couldn't bend my knees without crying.  Before that, we engaged in a some outlandish behavior.

  • We trudged up a ski slope I wouldn't ski down.  The hardcore kids were trudging too, so booyah. 
  • We ran across some hay bales.  It was really fun.
  • We jumped into, dunked under, and had to have people help us out of an industrial sized garbage can full of ice water.  That was the dumbest thing I've ever done, hands down.  I remember coming out the other side of the dunk, seeing someone, and saying, "How do I get out?" but I was talk-ing real-ly slow-ly.  I think I froze my brain.
  • We went over a rope fence, and Nj was first.  This was after the ice water and she couldn't really feel her feet, so she was scared to go over.  On the other side, there were two shirtless beautiful Crossfitting men, so in a stunning statement of motivation, I said, "No matter what happens Normajean, hot men will catch you!"  So she flings her leg over, almost falls, and one of the previously described hotties catches her butt, to which she responds, "Thank you, hot man."  We are two totally smooth ladies.
  • I went down a big slip and slide according to plan, landed in the giant mud puddle on my feet, and then went over the slippery wall one leg at a time, landing in a smaller mud puddle on my head.  Then I cackled, a lot, because it was ridiculous.
  • Then I couldn't walk anymore, so they had to come pick me up in a a golf cart on steroids.  And then when I wasn't moving anymore, but I was still soaking wet, I got mild hypothermia.  Then Normajean showed up with my clothes and I showered in the emergency outdoor shower that only has 3 walls so that they can basically back the ambulance into it when some skiing idiot really does have hypothermia.  Nj and I took turns and held emergency blankets up to form a fourth wall.  It was lovely.  Especially the moment in which I was dry and put on warm clothes.  That particular moment was wonderful.
  • Finally, we did all of this surrounded by people wearing costumes.  Tutus; T-shirts with the cast of It's Always Sunny; people dressed as the prisoners from Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?; star-spangled shorts and suspenders; and my favorite, a girl with a personalized shirt that said, "I immediately regret this decision."  That pretty much sums it up. 
I'm glad we did it.  I'm not sorry we didn't finish - I might have died.  We did more than a Warrior Dash, and less than a Tough Mudder, so we've decided that makes us Tough Warriors.  Good enough for now.

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