Skip to main content

No, you're pathetic.

On my drive back up from SC this last time, I was listening to old CDs, and Virtute the Cat Explains her Departure came up in the rotation.  I adore that song, but it makes me cry every single time.  It is sad and beautiful and deep somehow.  I believe the word I'm looking for is pathos, a word that gets a bad rap these days. 


I think it's actually a pretty great word, a useful word to describe an essential part of the human experience.  Pathos is defined as a quality that arouses compassion, pity, or sorrow.  When I think about pathos, I think most about sorrow, the kind of sorrow that's universal.  Same root as empathy, sympathy, apathy, and pathetic.  I wish pathetic had retained more of its original meaning of being moving, stirring, or affecting.  I need a word that means that without sounding well, pathetic, because I feel this all the time.  I enjoy feeling this (in balance with other things), but I especially love when something touches me, makes me feel this, makes me feel like someone else has felt this.  


For me, this so often comes from music, and that identification is so important, so universal, and one of its most powerful forms is pathos.  The sense that the world is a sad place, and that the sadness is both more and less tragic because it is inevitable.  The story of Virtute the cat sounds like the saddest breakup song ever.  He sings, "I can't remember the sound that you found for me" and every loss I've ever felt overwhelms me.  That sense, not only of loss, but of being lost, of knowing there was a place you belonged, and you wandered away from it, and now it's lost.  In this case, it's all the worse because she's a cat.  A human should know better, should remember, should find their way back, but she can't.  She's a cat.  And then you feel like a cat because sometimes you can't help it, you can't know better, can't find your way back.  Then you realize you don't know what you want to go back to because you can't remember it.  That's pathos

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Land of Lost Things

I met my new therapist last week.  I test drove a few, and she was the one that stuck.  She seems like she's not going to let me get by with any bullshit, and she said a couple of things that zinged me in our very first meeting.  That was unexpected, delightful, and now, with time to think about it, terrifying. I've been doing so much soul searching lately, so much careful consideration of my life and where I am - you'd think I'd be finding myself, but instead I feel so completely lost.  A few reasons: 1. I sabotage relationships in a really predictable way.  I had always thought of this behavior in one way, but with one sentence, this woman last week made me question everything I thought about that.  It's good to question it; it's what I wanted, but to be confronted so quickly by something that I had never considered is frightening.  I've spent so much time trying to figure this stuff out, and it turns out that I've been so completely wrong about ...

Series Finale

Life is not like Sex and the City, or Private Practice, or any other show where people in their late 20's / 30's / 40's are dating for our amusement. It's not fun. It's not glamorous. Relationships do not end with a lesson learned and a glass of wine. Okay, the wine is fairly accurate. The rest of it is crap. We watch those shows because of how inaccurate they are. We'd like to believe that after our latest heartbreak, we will recline in a bubble bath or in front of our computers, marveling at our newfound wisdom and patting ourselves on the back for becoming a more mature person. Let's for a moment apply this entirely artificial paradigm to my life. The basic ingredients are there: single woman in her distressingly late 20s, eligible-ish men, dates, alcohol, occasionally fabulous clothes. Hell, I've even got the klatch of cackling besties to tell me that the latest guy is unworthy of my distress. The basics are here. Things just don't see...

2011 Reading Challenges

On the first day of this new year, I am pulling together the reading challenges in which I want to participate.  There are so many that sound interesting that I'm not doing, particularly a bunch of them that are regional authors, which I'm trying to cover with my Global Reading Challenge.  I've chosen a bunch of them, but the problem won't be reading quantity, but more like reading strategy.  I read 3 or 4 books a week and most of these challenges allow crossovers, so I see no problems reading enough books, merely reading the right books and then, perhaps more challenging, writing about them, which some challenges require, and some only suggest.  Either way, it's a neat way to prioritize reading for the coming year. The Challenges in Which I Shall Participate Southern Literature Challenge - I've never read enough Southern Lit, and while some of the newer stuff is truly awful, I'd like to explore some older books. It's any book set in the South by a S...