What in the world does that mean?

I don't normally remember my dreams, but it occasionally happens. Usually when it's something scary or it happens right before I wake up in the morning. I'm not sure how to classify the doozy from today.

In my dream, my mom was still alive. She was already sick and in a wheelchair, and for some reason we were staying in Olivier's parents' house. There was an incident with a nurse, but the big thing in the dream was that I was supposed to go on some trip to French Canada (except in my dream I kept thinking Canadia) that I had booked a long time ago when I wanted to learn French. I had already paid for the plane ticket ($530), but now I was trying to decide if I wanted to go or if I wanted to stay and spend time with my mom. I decided to stay with her, but I kept kicking myself for not getting travel insurance.

I obviously think I made a good decision in the dream, but I wonder why I'm dreaming that now. Also, when I woke up, I felt sad and disappointed that she was gone again. Not the best way to start my Wednesday.

Comments

The Land of Lost Things

I met my new therapist last week. I test drove a few, and she was the one that stuck. She seems like she's not going to let me get by with any bullshit, and she said a couple of things that zinged me in our very first meeting. That was unexpected, delightful, and now, with time to think about it, terrifying. I've been doing so much soul searching lately, so much careful consideration of my life and where I am - you'd think I'd be finding myself, but instead I feel so completely lost. A few reasons: 1. I sabotage relationships in a really predictable way. I had always thought of this behavior in one way, but with one sentence, this woman last week made me question everything I thought about that. It's good to question it; it's what I wanted, but to be confronted so quickly by something that I had never considered is frightening. I've spent so much time trying to figure this stuff out, and it turns out that I've been so completely wrong about ...

Series Finale

Life is not like Sex and the City, or Private Practice, or any other show where people in their late 20's / 30's / 40's are dating for our amusement. It's not fun. It's not glamorous. Relationships do not end with a lesson learned and a glass of wine. Okay, the wine is fairly accurate. The rest of it is crap. We watch those shows because of how inaccurate they are. We'd like to believe that after our latest heartbreak, we will recline in a bubble bath or in front of our computers, marveling at our newfound wisdom and patting ourselves on the back for becoming a more mature person. Let's for a moment apply this entirely artificial paradigm to my life. The basic ingredients are there: single woman in her distressingly late 20s, eligible-ish men, dates, alcohol, occasionally fabulous clothes. Hell, I've even got the klatch of cackling besties to tell me that the latest guy is unworthy of my distress. The basics are here. Things just don't see...

2011 Reading Challenges

On the first day of this new year, I am pulling together the reading challenges in which I want to participate. There are so many that sound interesting that I'm not doing, particularly a bunch of them that are regional authors, which I'm trying to cover with my Global Reading Challenge. I've chosen a bunch of them, but the problem won't be reading quantity, but more like reading strategy. I read 3 or 4 books a week and most of these challenges allow crossovers, so I see no problems reading enough books, merely reading the right books and then, perhaps more challenging, writing about them, which some challenges require, and some only suggest. Either way, it's a neat way to prioritize reading for the coming year. The Challenges in Which I Shall Participate Southern Literature Challenge - I've never read enough Southern Lit, and while some of the newer stuff is truly awful, I'd like to explore some older books. It's any book set in the South by a S...

Land of Lakes and Volcanoes

Search This Blog