Skip to main content

Whammo! I'd like to be Liz Lemon.

Nursing homes are terrifying places. Don’t lie, you feel that way too. When I came to check out the place that we put my dad into today, there was a one legged man asleep in a wheelchair in the lobby, and a woman in what looked like an overgrown baby walker pacing back and forth in the lobby. Maybe I’m a bad person, but I was horrified.

And I’m self-aware enough to know that it wasn’t them that made me feel that way because if someone younger with all of their limbs had been asleep in a chair in a lobby, I wouldn’t have cared. If I had seen a 45 year old woman pacing, I just would have thought she was impatient. It’s their age and infirmity that fills me with fear. It’s my ability to empathize, or rather perhaps to project my own fears onto other people.

Nursing homes are terrifying because they force us to think about something we ignore on a daily basis: that one day we will be old, that something bad will probably happen to us, that we’ll get sick, that we might very well end up alone, paying people to take care of us. It’s petrifying. I don’t understand how the people who work here get up in the morning and do this every day. It takes something monumental – either strength or oblivion, but either way I know I don’t possess it.

Since all this stuff with my mom and dad, I’ve gotten a little bit paranoid. Or maybe it’s not paranoia. Maybe the world really is a terrifying place, and we just manage to ignore it all the time so that we can keep moving forward. Because really, over the past month I’ve become absolutely convinced that bad things are going to happen to me and my loved ones. I’m going to get cancer, or get hit by a car, or lose my job and become homeless. I don’t just think these things are going to happen, I KNOW it. I’m completely certain, and I’m struggling with how to deal with it. How do you deal with the fact that bad things most definitely will happen?

I know part of it is that I am without religion. I really don’t believe in God. There, I said it in a public venue. If anybody in my family reads this, I’m going to hear about it forever. But that’s okay I guess. I have no problem believing that I’m a collection of molecules. I find plenty of wonder in the fact that my neurons come together in such a way as to give me consciousness.

However, I also see religion as providing a lot of comfort to people. It gives meaning to an existence that I’m finding a little hollow lately. It makes the getting old and sad and lonely not too scary because there’s some kind of reward for it all. But what if you don’t believe that? What if you’re okay with the fact that this is it? Then what? You’re an amazing sentient being who can do anything, and I… I what? If anything, not believing in God puts more pressure on having a life well lived, because this is it. This is all my little consciousness gets.

Time to shape up, I just wish I knew how.

Comments

Briana said…
I totally understand what you mean about nursing homes - fear of growing old - not a fear of death, but a fear of being infirm and at the mercy of poorly paid health care workers. I totally get all that.

But what does it mean that I have no idea who Liz Lemon is.....

And I fell off of Henry again - but not even jumping this time. I'm afraid I am getting old.

Popular posts from this blog

Alie & Georgia are lushes.

Last night I hosted an Alie & Georgia cocktail birthday party. We went from 8 to 2 and tried 8 different cocktails. There was also ice cream cake and a hookah bc, well, I throw good parties, and Jeremy deserves nothing less. There would have been a fire pit, but something, something sleet. The fact that we only got to try 8 means there can be more Alie & Georgia parties in future bc there are so many left!  I would have included more pictures, but we were, uh, too distracted to take them.  And now, a review: Drunken Donuts Our first cocktail of the evening, I decided to serve these as little shots with a Spudnut garnish bc they are 2 parts alcohol to 1 part coffee. They contain staggering quantities of espresso vodka, coffee liqueur, and chocolate liqueur. A shot was about as much as you need, despite the recommended serving of a mug! of the stuff. This was our first hint that Alie & Georgia must be lushes with liver related super powers.  On a side note, these were

The Land of Lost Things

I met my new therapist last week.  I test drove a few, and she was the one that stuck.  She seems like she's not going to let me get by with any bullshit, and she said a couple of things that zinged me in our very first meeting.  That was unexpected, delightful, and now, with time to think about it, terrifying. I've been doing so much soul searching lately, so much careful consideration of my life and where I am - you'd think I'd be finding myself, but instead I feel so completely lost.  A few reasons: 1. I sabotage relationships in a really predictable way.  I had always thought of this behavior in one way, but with one sentence, this woman last week made me question everything I thought about that.  It's good to question it; it's what I wanted, but to be confronted so quickly by something that I had never considered is frightening.  I've spent so much time trying to figure this stuff out, and it turns out that I've been so completely wrong about so

2011 Reading Challenges

On the first day of this new year, I am pulling together the reading challenges in which I want to participate.  There are so many that sound interesting that I'm not doing, particularly a bunch of them that are regional authors, which I'm trying to cover with my Global Reading Challenge.  I've chosen a bunch of them, but the problem won't be reading quantity, but more like reading strategy.  I read 3 or 4 books a week and most of these challenges allow crossovers, so I see no problems reading enough books, merely reading the right books and then, perhaps more challenging, writing about them, which some challenges require, and some only suggest.  Either way, it's a neat way to prioritize reading for the coming year. The Challenges in Which I Shall Participate Southern Literature Challenge - I've never read enough Southern Lit, and while some of the newer stuff is truly awful, I'd like to explore some older books. It's any book set in the South by a S