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Acceptance

Acceptance is not my strong suit. It doesn't fit in with my worldview very well. To me, accepting something means acknowledging that you can't change it.

I'm not usually sorry about this as a character trait. I think it's what's enabled me to change my life so much, to be the person I am today. I honestly wasn't very happy growing up, and if I had just accepted that that was what life was like, I wouldn't have worked so hard to have something different.

However, sometimes things just happen that you can't do anything about. I'm facing one of those situations right now. I have a hard time accepting that there's nothing I can do to improve things, no action I can take that might make things better. Everything I've tried to do, no matter how well-intentioned or innocent, has only made things worse.

It's hard to realize that sometimes accepting a situation and doing nothing is the best "something" you can do. I hate it, but since I actually care what happens, and everything I do seems to make it worse, all I can do is nothing. It's a hard lesson to learn.

In other news, stuff I did this week:
1. Got hit by a car.
2. Read 22 pages of 15th through 18th century Spanish.
3. Lectured twice for 1 hour and 25 minutes, which is a long time to talk.
4. Taught my first lab at my new adjunct job.
5. Solved 3 work crises.
6. Processed about a million pieces of paperwork.

What I'm doing now:
Snuggling with my nephew on the couch while watching The Cutting Edge and waiting on our mustard-glazed porkchops to finish baking.

Comments

Briana said…
"Doing nothing is very hard to do ... you never know when you're finished."
- Leslie Nielsen
August 31, 2009 at 6:31 AM
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