The first week of school has been a rough one for me. The best way I can explain why is by bringing up a hierarchy. The other Nica45ers tease me because I love hierarchies. They're just such a nice way of organizing things. (That's for you Andrew.)
Anyway, Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I feel like this week, I have been trying to fulfill every level at once. Let's start at the bottom.
Basic needs: food, water, etc. I bought a two burner cookstove, but when trying to buy a gas tank, I discovered that it's illegal to put it in the bus. Seeing as how that is the only form of transportation available to me other than my bike, this seemed rather inconvenient. Turns out there's a truck that goes through Merida, sometimes, that sells gas and tanks. This highlights the difficulty of living alone in rural Nicaragua. You don't go to the store, the stores come to you. The condition is that you have to be there. Since I don't work in Merida, it's difficult to be home when the stores come around. Luckily, and perhaps strategically, I am friends with two of the ladies that own pulperias (the two nicest ones) and if I give them money, they buy stuff for me. So today I finally got a gas tank! I can effectively feed myself. Also, I've started drinking the water from the tap. I'm not dead or deathly ill yet. So that's level one.
Level two: security of body, employment, resources, property. In order to move into my house it has to be up to PC standards on security. This means bars on the doors, etc. This requires wood. It is illegal to cut wood on the whole island. Where does one get wood? One must encounter a fallen tree and get someone to cut it up. Once again, someone else is helping me. My counterpart is a park ranger and he valiantly offered to find me wood. I just had to pay the guy who cut it and the other one who hauled it to my house in his cart pulled by cows. In the process of backing his cow cart up to my house he took out a fence post that I will have to fix tomorrow. Check in the box of level two. Also, I don't have lights right now. The people said they'd come this week, and there's one day left. We'll see what happens.
Level three: friendship, family. I am still working on the friendship and family thing. Making friends is difficult here because a lot of the social activity is based on what church you go to, and I haven't wanted to be affiliated with a particular group. And, those of you who know me know that I am not particularly religious, so I've been hesitant to go that route. Also, many women my age here have kids and work in their homes. While I can go visit them and help out, it does make meeting them the first time a little complicated. I love my host family here, and they are always very supportive, which is amazing. For example, right now my latrine is a probably a death trap. My family has offered me the continued use of their latrine until I can fix mine up. Luckily our backyards basically connect. This is a picture (unfortunately fuzzy) of my host brother putting a space in the fence so I can cut through my back yard into their back yard. Yes, he is cutting down part of this tree with a machete!
Level four: self-esteem and confidence. Perhaps at an all-time low. This is based on the fact that I am basically helpless here, and while I am unimaginably appreciative of the help people are giving me, it also makes me feel like the whole Peace Corps thing is upside down. I cannot possibly help here as much as these people have already helped me. I am also currently overwhelmed with trying to figure out where I fit in in my schools. All of my teachers have had experiences with other NGOs (something about a tropical paradise attracts foreign volunteers), who usually come with a very specific project in mind, money, materials, etc. I have none of these things. The goal of Peace Corps is to increase capacity, to help the people of the country complete projects without that type of outside assistance, or to teach them how to be savy consumers of it. It does make first meetings somewhat awkward.
- Hi, what resources do you have for us?
- Hi, nice to meet you, I'm the resource.
- But, you barely speak Spanish.
- Si.
I know this is something that will come, and it's natural to experience highs and lows of confidence. I am currently in a lull.
Last but not least, level five: self-actualization (creativity, etc.). Believe it or not, I did work toward this this week. I started an English conversation group on Wednesday nights, and kids atually came! I get to be very creative with the format, and it was a lot of fun. My biggest problem with the group is that I think I need to find a second time because enough students came that I can basically divide them into two levels. Fabulous!
So, that's been my week, broken down by Maslow's hierarchy. No, it has hardly been a week of failure or anything, but there's something about being on all these levels at once that is just exhausting. And I still have one more class day! At times like these, I remind myself of why I wanted to do Peace Corps in the first place (as opposed to some other volunteer aid program). I wanted to test myself, to see what I'm made of. I'm definitely accomplishing that, if nothing else. This week I am also learning patience, how to be humble and accept a lot of help, to observe, and to ride my bike uphill in million degree weather. (It should be noted that the Nicas go flying by me with an Adios that suggests they are not at all out of breath.)
Wildlife Update
And in addition to all the other awesome things that happen in my latrine, it's apparently a great place to hook up, if you're a cockroach!! These guys tried to run away, but as they were trying to run in opposite directions, it didn't really work out well for them. Also, it should be noted that I do not take my camera to the latrine with me (although perhaps I should). I always go running back to my bedroom and then to the latrine with my camera, which I'm sure my family probably thinks is insane. And so, I present, cockroach luuuuv:
Anyway, Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I feel like this week, I have been trying to fulfill every level at once. Let's start at the bottom.
Basic needs: food, water, etc. I bought a two burner cookstove, but when trying to buy a gas tank, I discovered that it's illegal to put it in the bus. Seeing as how that is the only form of transportation available to me other than my bike, this seemed rather inconvenient. Turns out there's a truck that goes through Merida, sometimes, that sells gas and tanks. This highlights the difficulty of living alone in rural Nicaragua. You don't go to the store, the stores come to you. The condition is that you have to be there. Since I don't work in Merida, it's difficult to be home when the stores come around. Luckily, and perhaps strategically, I am friends with two of the ladies that own pulperias (the two nicest ones) and if I give them money, they buy stuff for me. So today I finally got a gas tank! I can effectively feed myself. Also, I've started drinking the water from the tap. I'm not dead or deathly ill yet. So that's level one.
Level two: security of body, employment, resources, property. In order to move into my house it has to be up to PC standards on security. This means bars on the doors, etc. This requires wood. It is illegal to cut wood on the whole island. Where does one get wood? One must encounter a fallen tree and get someone to cut it up. Once again, someone else is helping me. My counterpart is a park ranger and he valiantly offered to find me wood. I just had to pay the guy who cut it and the other one who hauled it to my house in his cart pulled by cows. In the process of backing his cow cart up to my house he took out a fence post that I will have to fix tomorrow. Check in the box of level two. Also, I don't have lights right now. The people said they'd come this week, and there's one day left. We'll see what happens.
Level three: friendship, family. I am still working on the friendship and family thing. Making friends is difficult here because a lot of the social activity is based on what church you go to, and I haven't wanted to be affiliated with a particular group. And, those of you who know me know that I am not particularly religious, so I've been hesitant to go that route. Also, many women my age here have kids and work in their homes. While I can go visit them and help out, it does make meeting them the first time a little complicated. I love my host family here, and they are always very supportive, which is amazing. For example, right now my latrine is a probably a death trap. My family has offered me the continued use of their latrine until I can fix mine up. Luckily our backyards basically connect. This is a picture (unfortunately fuzzy) of my host brother putting a space in the fence so I can cut through my back yard into their back yard. Yes, he is cutting down part of this tree with a machete!
Level four: self-esteem and confidence. Perhaps at an all-time low. This is based on the fact that I am basically helpless here, and while I am unimaginably appreciative of the help people are giving me, it also makes me feel like the whole Peace Corps thing is upside down. I cannot possibly help here as much as these people have already helped me. I am also currently overwhelmed with trying to figure out where I fit in in my schools. All of my teachers have had experiences with other NGOs (something about a tropical paradise attracts foreign volunteers), who usually come with a very specific project in mind, money, materials, etc. I have none of these things. The goal of Peace Corps is to increase capacity, to help the people of the country complete projects without that type of outside assistance, or to teach them how to be savy consumers of it. It does make first meetings somewhat awkward.
- Hi, what resources do you have for us?
- Hi, nice to meet you, I'm the resource.
- But, you barely speak Spanish.
- Si.
I know this is something that will come, and it's natural to experience highs and lows of confidence. I am currently in a lull.
Last but not least, level five: self-actualization (creativity, etc.). Believe it or not, I did work toward this this week. I started an English conversation group on Wednesday nights, and kids atually came! I get to be very creative with the format, and it was a lot of fun. My biggest problem with the group is that I think I need to find a second time because enough students came that I can basically divide them into two levels. Fabulous!
So, that's been my week, broken down by Maslow's hierarchy. No, it has hardly been a week of failure or anything, but there's something about being on all these levels at once that is just exhausting. And I still have one more class day! At times like these, I remind myself of why I wanted to do Peace Corps in the first place (as opposed to some other volunteer aid program). I wanted to test myself, to see what I'm made of. I'm definitely accomplishing that, if nothing else. This week I am also learning patience, how to be humble and accept a lot of help, to observe, and to ride my bike uphill in million degree weather. (It should be noted that the Nicas go flying by me with an Adios that suggests they are not at all out of breath.)
Wildlife Update
And in addition to all the other awesome things that happen in my latrine, it's apparently a great place to hook up, if you're a cockroach!! These guys tried to run away, but as they were trying to run in opposite directions, it didn't really work out well for them. Also, it should be noted that I do not take my camera to the latrine with me (although perhaps I should). I always go running back to my bedroom and then to the latrine with my camera, which I'm sure my family probably thinks is insane. And so, I present, cockroach luuuuv:
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