Tonight has been described as Peace Corps Eve by the training staff here, and honestly, it doesn't so much feel like Christmas Eve as it does like a night of terror. My life is about to change in this way that I can't even imagine, and while I'm happy, there are a lot of other things going on too. There don't seem to be words to express the combination of things that are churning in my gut. Excitement and anxiety, and all the emotions that go along with them, are rumbling around and bubbling up like a nice hot stew. Beam your happy thoughts my way because I need them!
Life is not like Sex and the City, or Private Practice, or any other show where people in their late 20's / 30's / 40's are dating for our amusement. It's not fun. It's not glamorous. Relationships do not end with a lesson learned and a glass of wine. Okay, the wine is fairly accurate. The rest of it is crap. We watch those shows because of how inaccurate they are. We'd like to believe that after our latest heartbreak, we will recline in a bubble bath or in front of our computers, marveling at our newfound wisdom and patting ourselves on the back for becoming a more mature person. Let's for a moment apply this entirely artificial paradigm to my life. The basic ingredients are there: single woman in her distressingly late 20s, eligible-ish men, dates, alcohol, occasionally fabulous clothes. Hell, I've even got the klatch of cackling besties to tell me that the latest guy is unworthy of my distress. The basics are here. Things just don't see...
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I'm going to keep checking to see what kind of exciting adventures you're having!
As I told you previously, I am incredibly envious of this adventure of yours. And though you say you are terrified, I have no doubt you will create for yourself a wonderful experience. As some say, we create our own reality. So envision friends instead of foes, banquets instead of botulism (sorry--my attempt at something resembling poetry) and enjoy!