So Briana said I might have something interesting to offer - my view of the US after 7 months in Nicaragua. I honestly can't imagine how coming back would be after two years. Here's some of the weirdness I have noticed.
1. Grocery stores are large terrifying places. I know that I used to go to La Union every now and then, but in the US, the sheer variety of things is overwhelming. There's 600 kinds of everything, all in full fat, low fat, non-fat and with infinite tiny flavor alterations. Would you like black bean dip, chipotle black bean dip, or lime chipotle black bean dip? I don't know, where are the beans, I'll make my own!! My old sensation of being paralyzed in the grocery store is back, but it's a million times worse now.
2. I'm still dreaming in Spanish. I actually kind of like that since I'm not practicing Spanish much during my waking hours. However, this can lead to serious cognitive dissonance when suddenly awakened from Spanish world into English world. An example: Last Friday I was riding in the passenger seat of my sister's car at night. I woke up, and English radio was playing, it was too dark to see where I was, and the car was moving far too smoothly to be Nicaragua. For a split second, I was terrified because I had no idea where I was. Luckily that feeling has passed, and not had occasion to return.
3. I'm glad I came home, but I've been sort of feeling like I'm not really here, or at least not really home. I think most people think 7 months isn't that long, and really it's not. But I went there thinking 2 years, and I tried to make it my home. So I think I've been feeling like I'm on vacation here, like any minute I'm going to get on a plane and go back to Nicaragua. While I am thankful for the generosity of Marcos and Michelle, staying in someone's guestroom has also contributed to that temporary nomad feeling. Today I felt at home here for the first time. My nephew and I went for a long walk, his Big Wheels ran out of juice, and we had to tow it home. After that we played T-ball. While it might not seem clear what about that made me feel at home, it was really a combination of all of it. While we were walking, I taught Keegan how to suck the nectar out of honeysuckle flowers. We looked at lizards and butterflies, the air smelled like Southern pine forest and flowers, and the light had that radioactive white brightness that it has here all summer. It both felt like home here, and like Nicaragua. It seems like my two selves might be finding a way to mesh after all.
P.S. I also figured out how to connect the Big Wheels to the bag of the truck to tow it home with a tow chain, a bungee chord, and 2 U-bolts. Pretty good, huh?
1. Grocery stores are large terrifying places. I know that I used to go to La Union every now and then, but in the US, the sheer variety of things is overwhelming. There's 600 kinds of everything, all in full fat, low fat, non-fat and with infinite tiny flavor alterations. Would you like black bean dip, chipotle black bean dip, or lime chipotle black bean dip? I don't know, where are the beans, I'll make my own!! My old sensation of being paralyzed in the grocery store is back, but it's a million times worse now.
2. I'm still dreaming in Spanish. I actually kind of like that since I'm not practicing Spanish much during my waking hours. However, this can lead to serious cognitive dissonance when suddenly awakened from Spanish world into English world. An example: Last Friday I was riding in the passenger seat of my sister's car at night. I woke up, and English radio was playing, it was too dark to see where I was, and the car was moving far too smoothly to be Nicaragua. For a split second, I was terrified because I had no idea where I was. Luckily that feeling has passed, and not had occasion to return.
3. I'm glad I came home, but I've been sort of feeling like I'm not really here, or at least not really home. I think most people think 7 months isn't that long, and really it's not. But I went there thinking 2 years, and I tried to make it my home. So I think I've been feeling like I'm on vacation here, like any minute I'm going to get on a plane and go back to Nicaragua. While I am thankful for the generosity of Marcos and Michelle, staying in someone's guestroom has also contributed to that temporary nomad feeling. Today I felt at home here for the first time. My nephew and I went for a long walk, his Big Wheels ran out of juice, and we had to tow it home. After that we played T-ball. While it might not seem clear what about that made me feel at home, it was really a combination of all of it. While we were walking, I taught Keegan how to suck the nectar out of honeysuckle flowers. We looked at lizards and butterflies, the air smelled like Southern pine forest and flowers, and the light had that radioactive white brightness that it has here all summer. It both felt like home here, and like Nicaragua. It seems like my two selves might be finding a way to mesh after all.
P.S. I also figured out how to connect the Big Wheels to the bag of the truck to tow it home with a tow chain, a bungee chord, and 2 U-bolts. Pretty good, huh?
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