I had a great teaching day yesterday. One of those days when I actually miss being a high school teacher. I have good teaching days often, but they have to be pretty damn good to make teaching high school seem all rosy again. A little background is required.
I loved some things about teaching high school. My interactions with the students were frustrating every day because you always want to do more - you want to somehow convince each one of them (even the ones you don't like b/c sometimes that happens) that you care about what happens to them and that you really do have their best interests at heart. Some days I felt like I really made that connection with students and those days were the best.
And the surprising thing to me was what made me feel that way, that I had connected. It could be a student with a problem who felt comfortable enough to confide in me. This made me feel like I won the freakin' Olympics, but it's not something that happened every day. Sometimes it was a student who seemed to be having a hard time, and it turns out that they just needed a little extra help or attention. Sometimes it was a feat of strategy, when I finally figured out how to solve a difficult disciplinary problem. All of those things made me feel connected, tuned it, like I was learning them a little bit better.
There were, of course, all the challenges you expect as a teacher. Students who I saw drowning, but who wouldn't reach out a hand for help. Students who I couldn't figure out, or seem to get to know no matter how hard I tried. And I'm not sure if this is just me, or is more broadly indicative of people who gravitate toward teaching, but I always had a tendency to blame myself. It was very difficult for me to step back and realize that these kids had to make their own mistakes and choices. I was never a coddler - my students probably thought I was pretty damn strict actually, but having high standards isn't mutually exclusive with being willing to bend over backwards to help students reach those standards.
At some point it's like each student becomes your child, and you want to give them all the meager wisdom you've accumulated and hope they do okay. It's hard to care about that many people that way and not go home exhausted, but on those days when it went well, I was elated. I would clean up my classroom at the end of the day, and think, "Ashley really learned that today", "Matt didn't get in trouble today", "I never would have expected Molly to come see me about her quiz grade" and it felt so good, so exhilarating. It hooks you, it really does.
Yesterday was one of those days that broad all that happiness back. The students were engaged, the activity was interesting, the content was personally relevant. It was the triumvirate!! On those days, I have to remind myself why teaching high school wasn't for me.
I'll go into that tomorrow, as this post is growing far too large for one day.
I loved some things about teaching high school. My interactions with the students were frustrating every day because you always want to do more - you want to somehow convince each one of them (even the ones you don't like b/c sometimes that happens) that you care about what happens to them and that you really do have their best interests at heart. Some days I felt like I really made that connection with students and those days were the best.
And the surprising thing to me was what made me feel that way, that I had connected. It could be a student with a problem who felt comfortable enough to confide in me. This made me feel like I won the freakin' Olympics, but it's not something that happened every day. Sometimes it was a student who seemed to be having a hard time, and it turns out that they just needed a little extra help or attention. Sometimes it was a feat of strategy, when I finally figured out how to solve a difficult disciplinary problem. All of those things made me feel connected, tuned it, like I was learning them a little bit better.
There were, of course, all the challenges you expect as a teacher. Students who I saw drowning, but who wouldn't reach out a hand for help. Students who I couldn't figure out, or seem to get to know no matter how hard I tried. And I'm not sure if this is just me, or is more broadly indicative of people who gravitate toward teaching, but I always had a tendency to blame myself. It was very difficult for me to step back and realize that these kids had to make their own mistakes and choices. I was never a coddler - my students probably thought I was pretty damn strict actually, but having high standards isn't mutually exclusive with being willing to bend over backwards to help students reach those standards.
At some point it's like each student becomes your child, and you want to give them all the meager wisdom you've accumulated and hope they do okay. It's hard to care about that many people that way and not go home exhausted, but on those days when it went well, I was elated. I would clean up my classroom at the end of the day, and think, "Ashley really learned that today", "Matt didn't get in trouble today", "I never would have expected Molly to come see me about her quiz grade" and it felt so good, so exhilarating. It hooks you, it really does.
Yesterday was one of those days that broad all that happiness back. The students were engaged, the activity was interesting, the content was personally relevant. It was the triumvirate!! On those days, I have to remind myself why teaching high school wasn't for me.
I'll go into that tomorrow, as this post is growing far too large for one day.
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